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100GB Bug
Etch-a-Sketch
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Y2K (Year 2000) MEMO
Supposedly hailing from Zimbabwe's Government Telecommunications Agency (GTA), the following e-mail was said to be credited to a Joseph Kazimba, project manager of the country's Y2K branch team and sent to the GTA IT directory.
"I hope I have not misunderstood your instructions because, to be honest, none of the Y to K problem makes any sense to me," he begins. "At any rate, I have finished converting all the ys to ks for all the months on all of the company calendars so the year 2000 is ready to go with the following new months: Januark, Febuark, Mak, Julk. In Zimbabwe, we are now 100 per cent Y to K compliant."
- from A. L. Lounge
EXPERTS WARN OF THREAT FROM 100GB BUG
Experts warned today of a new and deadly threat to our beleaguered
civilization: The 100GB Bug.
As most people know, McDonald's restaurant signs show the number of hamburgers the giant chain has sold. That number now stands at 99 billion burgers, or 99 Gigaburgers (GB). Within months or even weeks, that number will roll over to 100GB.
McDonald's signs, however, were designed years ago, when the prospect of selling one hundred billion hamburgers seemed unthinkably remote. So the signs only have room for a two-digit number. This means that, after the sale of the 100 billionth burger, McDonald's signs will read "00 Billion Burgers Sold." This, experts predict, will convince the public that, in over thirty years, no McDonald's hamburgers have ever in fact been sold, causing a complete collapse of consumer confidence in McDonald's products.
The ensuing catastrophic drop in sales is seen as almost certain to force the already-troubled company into bankruptcy. This, in turn, will push the teetering American economy over the brink, which, finally, will complete the total devastation of the global economy, ending civilization as we know it, and forcing us all to live on beetles.
"The people who know -- the sign-makers -- are really scared of 100GB," one expert said. "I don't know about you, but I'm digging up a copy of THE FIELD GUIDE TO NORTH AMERICAN INSECTS and heading for the hills."
- from Henry J
alternatively.............
The following is a low cost alternative that addresses the Y2K
(Year 2000) issue:
The goal is to remove all computers from the desktop by Jan, 1999. Instead, everyone will be provided with an Etch-A-Sketch. There are many sound reasons for doing this:
1. No Y2K problems
2. No technical glitches keeping work from being done.
3. No more wasted time reading and writing emails.
Frequently Asked Questions from the Etch-A-Sketch Help Desk:
Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has all of these funny little lines all over
the screen.
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: What's the shortcut for Undo?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I create a New Document window?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I set the background and foreground to the same color?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: What is the proper procedure for rebooting my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I delete a document on my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I save my Etch-A-Sketch document?
A: Er ...
- from John W.
