Jokes for adults
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Page 3 of 7
Heaven and Hell Joke
Tourist joke
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Jokes page 7
Kids' jokes
The joys of Womanhood
'The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.'
'Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them.'
'The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you are doing, someone else does.'
'Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.'
'The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him.'
'Amazing; you can hang something in your wardrobe for a while and it shrinks two sizes.'
I saw this sign on a car locally - 'Be nice to your kids - they will choose your Nursing Home'.
- from Phyllis Wharton
There were 11 people hanging onto a rope that came down from a helicopter. Ten were men, and one was a woman. They all agreed that one person would have to let go because if they didn't, the rope would break and everyone would die. No-one could decide who should go. Finally, the woman gave a really touching speech saying that she would give up her life to save the others. This was because women were used to giving up things for their partners and children, giving into men, and not receiving anything in return. She knew her place - she would be the one to go. When she had finished speaking, all the men spontaneously started to clap...........
.........Never underestimate the power of a woman.
- from Marian Lennon
In Heaven ...
The cooks are French, the Police are English, the lovers are Italian, and it's all organised by the Germans.
In Hell ...
The cooks are English, the Police are French, the lovers are German, and it's all organised by the Italians.
- from Ous Taal
Two British tourists were travelling in the American MidWest. They stopped for a rest at an old time country store, complete with old-timers rocking on the front porch and a hound dog curled up in the dust at the foot of the stairs to the porch. The first tourist paused to pet the dog, then, thinking better of it, asked the nearest old-timer, "Your dog doesn't bite, does he?" The old-timer rocked a bit, then answered, "Nope." Reassured, the tourist reached for the dog, who promptly bit him. The wounded and offended tourist turned on the old-timer, shouting, " I thought you said your dog didn't bite!" The old-timer rocked a bit, then answered, "That ain't my dog."
- from Alan Brittenham
